After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
How can there be self-help groups?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If a tree falls in the woods, and lands on a mime, does anyone care?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?I
f an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If God sneezes...what should you say?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
What happened to the first 6 ups?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is another word for thesaurus?
What is the speed of dark?
What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do bars advertise live bands?What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
-fromthe Paul Harris show
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