Sometimes its easy to view the world of relationships as a buffet---and I don't mean Jimmy Buffett. Just imagine Golden Corral. You walk in, and are almost overwhelmed with variety: chicken and dumplin's, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, onion rings, fresh greens, mac'n cheese, banana pudding, pecan pie...you know what I'm talking about. You want to sample as much as possible, saying, "Hey, with the law of averages, I'm bound to find something that I like the more food that I try." And so you try everything that looks appealing. Sometimes it's good, but sometimes you end up with liver and onions instead of cubed steak. You become so set on sampling that you don't really have room for more than one bite from any dish, even if you find something you really like. You end up stuffed, but not necessarily satiated.

What happened?

Maybe, before grabbing your first plate, you should have stopped, closed your eyes, and asked yourself: What am I hungry for? The answer is there if we listen for it. Estes calls this our soul-hunger. And maybe what we hunger for is being served; in that case---we can go right to it, slather it on our plate, and fill up on the thing that causes us to be truly filled. There is also the possibility that what we really want is something not on display, like...falafel. In that case, you're probably going to have to search for it. Maybe it'll be found in a little Turkish kebob on the corner, or maybe you'll have to fly to Turkey, but you're going to have to work for it. The reward is satiation in the truest sense.

Of course, it's easier to settle for the pork chop that can be reached in one quick swipe of your hand. The pork chop is not going to taste the same, nor is it the same nutritionally speaking. But it's something to naw, and its tempting to naw something---anything--- rather than face the pangs of real hunger. And let's not forget---while you're helping yourself to that pork, you're blocking the way of other people who might love pork chops. That's not too fair, since you aren't really hungry for pork at all, but crisp, fresh falafel. You might even hoard the last tidbit while those who came specifically for the pork chops go unsatifisfied. Or perhaps the pork chops slide off your plate in protest, offending with your lack of appetite.

The moral? Stay away from pork chops.
Eat only what you hunger for.
I'm hankering for some falafel.

An addition from Joaquin:
"I am a vegetarian you know, and I thought it would be difficult [in Germany]. But falafel, yes, mmm."